Saturday, June 25, 2011

Is Anything Bugging You?

Across the Fence #345

I don’t know about you, but I’ve sure been bugged lately. It’s been so bad at times, I can hardly stand working outside. The pesky little gnats have been terrible this year. Some people refer to them as little black flies. Some of the names they’re called can’t be used in a family newspaper.

It doesn’t seem to matter what time of day it is, those gnats are looking for something to attack. They’ve taken a real liking to me. They form little black clouds, swarm around my head, and follow me wherever I go. It can be 100 degrees, 50 degrees, windy, calm, early in the day, or late in the evening, it doesn’t seem to matter. As soon as I step out the door the little buggers are there to greet me.

I’ve tried several products and recommendations from people who claim that the anti-bug remedies worked for them. None have worked for me. I told you they like me. I read somewhere that the little buggers are attracted to our breath because of the carbon dioxide. It seemed like a logical solution was to wear a facemask. It didn’t work. I’m as blind as a bat without my trifocal glasses, and when I used the mask, my hot breath steamed up my glasses. So that didn’t work.

One person told me that Listerine would keep them away if you sprinkle some on yourself. It was worth a try. I found an old, dirty cap, poured some on it, sprinkled a little around my neck, and for good measure, gargled with some. After all, they are attracted to our breath. Then I went forward to meet the enemy. They won again. I think they liked how I smelled, and they seemed to hone in on me from every direction. At least my hair had a nice, clean, Listerine smell afterwards. My breath wasn’t bad either.

One day I saw a product at Walgreens as I was checking out. You know how they conveniently position items near the cash register so you’re forced to examine them while you’re waiting. This little product claimed it would keep the bugs off. It was a light green, coiled bracelet to wear on your wrist. It was less than $2.00 so I decided to give it a try. I took that little, sweet-smelling thing out of its plastic wrapper and put it on my wrist. Look out bugs, here I come.

Danged if those pesky little buggers didn’t love it. They swarmed around my head as I was trying to water the new trees and shrubs I had planted. I even tried putting my hand with the colorful, smelly wristband on top of my head. Surely that would repel them. Wrong! They seem to have developed an overwhelming attraction to me, and neither sleet and hail, eye of newt, and toe of frog,
 Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, 
Adder's fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
 Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing, 
or a hell-broth boil, while the fire burns and the cauldron bubbles, can scare them away. My apology to William Shakespeare and the three ugly witches in Macbeth for that great potion. When all else fails, resort to witchcraft. Unfortunately, even potions and witchcraft won’t keep the bugs away.

The $2.00 I spent for that insect-repelling wristband was certainly a waste of money, but at least it gave me some good story material to write about.

I know many people have resorted to wearing hats with mosquito-type netting hanging down from it to cover your head and neck. I’d try one of them but I think most stores have sold out. Vanilla hasn’t done the trick either. It made me smell good though… like a meal for gnats.

This whole buggy experience has reminded me of similar bug problems, in the heat and humidity of Vietnam. The mosquitoes were so bad at times, that nothing would keep them off either. We’d rub mosquito repellent all over our exposed skin, but that didn’t even help at times. I think our sweat and the daily rain washed most of it off.

One morning after sitting on an ambush patrol during the night, I counted over 50 mosquito bites on my hands in the morning. Needless to say, you didn’t go slapping at mosquitoes when you were trying to stay motionless and quiet. We may have been hiding, but you can’t hide from bugs and mosquitoes.

Sometimes I think the bugs and creepy crawly critters were more annoying than anything. One time at a forward firebase, the mosquitoes were so bad, we lit a pile of empty sand bags on fire and sat in the smoldering smoke to get some relief from them. The bugs won that battle too. Eventually you have to come out of the smoke.

As long as we’re talking about bugs, who can forget June Bugs. I saw a few of the big critters on our front porch last week. When I was young, it seemed like we had thousands of them. They swarmed around the yard light in the evening and hundreds of them would be on the ground. You couldn’t walk around without hearing the crunch when you stepped on them. Now if there was some way to crunch those pesky gnats.

Oh well, I try to look on the bright side, they won’t bug us once winter weather arrives!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Dixie Cups and Submarines

Across the Fence #344

I had a Dixie Cup ice cream recently and it just wasn’t the same. Oh, the ice cream was fine, but a Dixie Cup will always be missing something for those of us who remember when there were pictures on the bottom of the lids. When you pried up the lid, you never knew whose picture you might find. It was usually a famous cowboy, like Roy Rogers, or a Hollywood star. At least that was the case when I remember seeing them.

I decided to look Dixie Cups up on the Internet. I found out those pictures on the lids were used for 24 years, from 1930 to 1954. In that case, I was only ten years old when they discontinued the pictures. I could have sworn that I was much older when I was still finding pictures on the lids.

The first Dixie lids illustrated circus animals and performers in full color. They were associated with the Dixie circus radio stories of 1930, and they lasted for two years. The next group of lids appearing in 1932, was called “The Nature Series,” and featured dogs, birds, fish, and butterflies. In 1931, a special set of U.S. president lids was produced exclusively for the Philadelphia Dairy Products Company. In 1933, the first movie star series began. The first cowboy to appear was a profile of Ken Maynard in 1934.

I remember Roy Rogers’ picture, and discovered he was not only King of the Cowboys, but also king of the cowboy lids. His likeness appeared 12 times. The leading Hollywood stars were Bing Crosby and Johnny Mack Brown. Ginger Rogers and Betty Grable were the leading actresses.

There were also baseball stars featured in 1952 and 1953. Milwaukee Braves left-handed pitcher, Warren Spahn, was one of them. I found out that only 24 covers were issued each year. During the years of World War II, covers depicting the war effort were used.

I didn’t remember that there was a thin piece of wax paper over the top of the picture to protect the ink from the ice cream. When you pried up the lid, you removed the wax paper to reveal the picture. Dixie printed the pictures in blue during the even numbered years from 1938 to 1952, and a brownish color in odd numbered years from 1937 to 1953.

How many of you remember all that? Did any of you collect the different Dixie Cup lids? Most of the lids can now be found for $2 to $3 in mint condition, except for a few of the more popular ones, like John Wayne and Hopalong Cassidy. They can fetch $25 or more. If you collected the baseball series of 1952, many of those lids can bring $100 because of their rarity. I know we had a bunch of Dixie lids at one time, but I suspect they were long ago relegated to the trash burn pile and went up in a cloud of smoke, along with many other “treasures.”

We can’t forget that we also got ice cream in those Dixie Cups. That was always a special treat. They even came with a small wooden spoon to eat the ice cream with. They resembled those wooden sticks a doctor puts in your mouth to make you say, “Ahhhh.” Except the Dixie spoons had a flat spoon shape on one end. Do you remember those spoons?

It’s surprising what memories are triggered by a simple thing like a Dixie Cup filled with ice cream, and what pleasure they brought to us when we were young. Remembering those picture lids, also brought back memories of cereal box offerings from the 1950’s.

Do you remember Baking Powder Submarines? They were introduced in 1954, during the time of the first nuclear powered submarine. They were advertised on Kellogg’s cereal boxes. You had to mail in a quarter, along with the cereal boxtop to prove you had bought the cereal. It was a great advertising gimmick to sell cereal to kids. I remember sending in my quarter and the boxtop and then not so patiently waiting the two or three weeks for it to arrive. My folks didn’t need to ask me to get the mail, because I anxiously checked the mailbox every day, hoping I’d find a package for me inside.

It was a great day when the package, addressed to me, finally arrived. I might add, it was always a big deal for us kids to receive a letter or package in the mail. It didn’t happen very often. We filled that little submarine, about four inches long, with Ma’s baking powder, filled the bathroom sink, and watched in wonder as our little submarine cruised around, under the water! When it ran out of fuel (baking powder) it would rise to the surface and we’d have to refuel it. I wonder how much of Ma’s baking powder we “wasted.” I guess it didn’t take much to amuse us. I think my brother, David, probably sent for one too, or the two of us would have been fighting over who was the commander of the one sub.

Later, a smaller version of the submarine came in the cereal box, and also Navy frogmen that operated on baking powder.

Kellogg’s cereal and Dixie Cups were our ticket to some simple pleasures when we were young. I think the food involved was secondary.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Thr News... Hot Off the Press

Across the Fence #343

Who says this isn’t Global Warming? I’d have a hard time convincing the people around here that it isn’t. I don’t usually write about the weather unless there’s nothing else to write about, but this week the hot weather has been the main topic of conversations.

How hot has it been this week as I write this? The temperature broke records in La Crosse the past couple days when it hit 100 degrees. Here in Westby, the Westby Coop Creamery hasn’t had to make cottage cheese this week; the milk was already curdled by the time it got to the creamery.

In Central City, Iowa, it was so hot that people found out, the hard way, that a seat belt buckle could also be used as a branding iron.

It was so hot in Black River Falls that people could dip a cup of water from the Black River, throw a tea bag in it, and drink it without even heating the water. I wonder if you could call that instant tea.

It's been so hot in Boscobel this week, the farmers have been feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

Down in Gays Mills, Editor Charley Pruesser, looked out his office window this afternoon and saw robins using potholders to pull worms out of the ground!

Meanwhile, up in Fairfax, Minnesota, I heard the snowmen from last winter finally melted! Just remember, we had a cold spring up until a few days ago. I think those last patches of frozen snow on north-facing slopes should have finally disappeared this week.

Even the dogs weren’t moving this past week up around Elmwood, Spring Valley, and Woodville. Lena and Ole saw trees pleading with the dogs to come and cool them off, but not a dog raised his head… or leg.

I heard a rumor it was so hot in La Farge and Viola this week, several people got severely sunburned just going from their car to their house.

There were even rumors that Vernon Memorial Hospital treated many people with burned tongues when they tried to drink from public drinking fountains (bubblers to some of you). Seems the cold water had turned into very hot water. I knew you could get your tongue stuck on a pump handle in the winter, but burning your tongue while drinking from a drinking fountain is another story.

Friends in Madison told me it was so hot at the State Capitol, the usual hot air that fills the place seemed cold compared to the outside temperature. Uff da, that’s hot!!

Here in Vernon County it was so hot that when Linda and I cruised the back roads, we found some road kill venison, it was charbroiled to perfection on the hot blacktop! And it was free. You can’t beat a deal like that.

People around here are calling it the dog days of summer. Trouble is, it’s not even summer yet. Uff da, what’s it going to be like once it gets really hot.

I know many of you probably find it hard to believe all the incidents I’ve just reported, but hey, I just report the news. Chances are by the time you read this, the temperature could be down in the 40’s or 50’s again. I’m hoping it doesn’t stay in the high 90’s or 100 too long.

I planted trees and shrubs over the weekend, before it turned so hot. Probably not the best idea. Now I’ve been watering the heck out of them in the evenings to keep them alive.

We need some trees around our house. We don’t have a big shade tree in the yard where I can sit on hot days like this. It takes a long time for a tree to grow big enough to provide some shade. I’ll probably be pushing up Geraniums before I get to enjoy the shade of the trees I just planted. I guess when we plant trees, we have to plant them with the thought that future generations will be able to enjoy the shade on hot days like this. I have no idea who planted the big Maple trees on our farm where I grew up. They were huge when we moved there. We had a lot of fun climbing in those trees and playing in their shade.

I helped my dad when he dug up a couple of Maple trees in our woods. We planted those small trees in our yard and they grew. Our children got to climb and play in them. They enjoyed swinging in the simple swing attached to a limb. Every child should swing in a “real” swing – a simple rope attached to a limb with a board seat with notches cut into the sides to keep it on the rope. Those two Maples we planted grew fast, and I got to enjoy lying in the cool grass in the shade and resting at noon before heading back to the hot fields. We also sat at the picnic table in the shade and enjoyed a morning and afternoon break for coffee.

Hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy a little shade from the Maples I just planted. If I don’t get to sit in the shade of those trees on a hot summer day, listening to their leaves rustle, at least I know others will enjoy them.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

How To Get A Farmer Tan

Across the Fence #342

They say Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer. It certainly arrived with a blast of hot, humid air. What a change after the long, wet, cold, spring we’ve had. What a change one day brings. Sunday was cold, wet, and windy. It wasn’t a very nice day for all the high school graduation parties, but the weather certainly made them memorable, as people tried to keep the tents from blowing over.

What a difference a day makes. Memorial Day was beautiful. The sun was shining, the temperature almost hit 90, and people could finally wear t-shirts and shorts instead of winter jackets and long johns. Except for those of you who spent the winter soaking up the sun down south, most of us “Northerners” look like a bunch of albino whales washed up on the beach. We haven’t even been able to acquire a farmer tan. For those city folks not familiar with a farmer tan, let me explain. Farmers don’t generally go around with their shirts off in the summer. They wear short sleeve work shirts or long sleeve work shirts with the sleeves rolled up as far as they can roll them. They also wear farm caps, usually given to them by feed or agri-business sales people. A farmer never has to buy a new cap. They just keep piling up like bills during a bad crop year. Most farmers could wear a different cap every day of the month.

As I said, you’re not going to see many farmers with their shirts off, so chances are you won’t get to witness a farmer tan either. In my younger days I can’t say that I ever witnessed a farmer take his shirt off. But then, I may not have realized it even if they did. After working in the fields all day under the hot, blazing sun, their arms and faces were tanned a dark brown. If they did take their shirt off, it would have looked from a distance, like they were wearing a white, short-sleeved shirt. Since most farmers wore a hat, their forehead was also white and the rest of their face was a coarse, wind-blown, sun tanned brown.

I don’t have any scientific evidence to back up my thinking, but when I was young, just about everybody I knew was Lutheran. You don’t find Lutherans going around flinging their clothes off as soon as it gets a little hot outside and lying down on a beach to soak up the sun. Maybe it was a bit of modesty that had been drilled into us each Sunday or maybe it took us northern Lutherans most of the summer to finally warm up enough after our cold winters, to finally strip off our long sleeve shirts and long johns. By that time, winter was starting to set in again, so why bother. And another thing, farmers didn’t have time or the need to work at getting a suntan like people do these days. They just went about their everyday work and the suntan took care of itself.

I don’t know the answer to the farmer tan, but perhaps it was a climate-induced, Lutheran theology that made us wear what we did. As I said, this isn’t a scientific-based study, just my humble opinion, after my body and brain accelerated from 50 degrees to 90 degrees in one day.

Now I have a wimpy, inside job, and find it hard to get a farmer tan or any tan for that matter. Mostly I just get red and peel these days, during those rare occasions when I get to spend extended time outside. The only way to keep from getting burned is to put on a lot of clothes, which kind of defeats the purpose of tanning. There we are right back to the farmer tan again and I’m not even farming.

I do have to admit that I got more sun than I was used to on Memorial Day. I spent the morning at the Coon Valley Memorial Day parade and ceremony and ended up with a rather unusual tan. At the moment, it’s not tan; it’s mostly red. Instead of a farmer tan I’ll have to call it a “VFW hat tan.” At least it kept most of my balding head from burning, but I did have a rather distinct “V” border to my tan last night. At least it’s blended more together today and isn’t as noticeable.

Most sensible people would apply a sunscreen when they know they’re going to be spending time in the hot sun. I have no excuse. I know I should have used some yesterday. When I was young, I don’t know if they even had sunscreen. I know we never used it. If people talked about getting skin cancer from too much exposure to the sun, I don’t remember hearing about it. We didn’t know cigarettes caused cancer either, until they put a warning label on the packs.

I have a dark complexion and have to admit, I went all summer without wearing a shirt while we worked in the fields and was very dark brown. I never had a farmer tan in those days. I wasn’t a farmer so I couldn’t have a farmer’s tan, I was a farmer’s son, so… I wonder if what I had was a “farmer’s son tan?”

Have a sunny summer!