I surrender. You can drag me out of the house, tar and feather me, and last but not least, stick my tongue to the pump handle. I deserve it.
I'll be the first to admit it. I spoke too soon. I wrote about the Beauty and the Beast, and how we should all look for the beauty in this beast we call winter.
It's been a real challenge finding any beauty during the past weeks. This winter has turned into a beast right out of Jurassic Park as my English teacher classmate, Ardy, in Iowa informed me. She also said, "Winter wonderland? I think you've lost your mind!" OK, I plead insanity for making those remarks about looking for the beauty in winter.
In my own defense, I should explain something here. From the time I write a story, send it to the papers a week in advance, and when it's finally published, is almost two weeks. A lot can change in two weeks.
On the Thursday that the Beauty and the Beast story hit the papers, our temperature reached 28 degrees below zero with a wind chill much lower. Later that day it warmed up to six below. It was hard to find any beauty in that. Friday morning was only 25 below zero and we got all the way up to one below that day. How cold was it? It was so cold I should have been wearing my fur-lined jock strap, but I don't know what box we packed it in. That's a story for another day! It was so cold even the Beast was knocking on our doors and windows wanting to come in where it was warm.
Here on Sherpe Road, high on the prairie, the wind really gets a running start. By the time it reaches us it has the pedal to the metal. We have huge piles of snow on both sides of our driveway that now act like snow fences, stopping the snow right between them... in our driveway.
Thank goodness for great neighbors. After we had a big snowfall one night, I was getting ready to start clearing the driveway with an old, used snow blower I bought at a neighbor's auction last fall. It's a big, heavy machine that can throw a lot of snow, but it still would have taken me an hour or more to clear a path through the three to four foot drifts. Then up the road came Wayne Fish with his skid steer. In ten minutes he had the whole driveway cleared. That's the type of neighbors I remember when I grew up on this farm. It's nice to know they are still around.
After snowing almost every day for the past six months (it feels like six months), the pile on each side of our driveway now acts like a snow magnet. Did I mention it gets very windy and drifts here on the prairie? One morning I had to leave early for La Crosse for a seminar and decided to wait until I returned in the evening to clear the snow. That was a mistake. I took a running start and almost made it, but got hung up at the end of the driveway. There was still plenty of ice under the snow that tires tend to spin on. It's been too darn cold for weeks for the salt to melt the ice. I should mention, that was the morning it was 28 below zero! I did a very fast shoveling job to get unstuck, cursing the winter, the ice, the snow, the bitter cold, and why the heck would any sane person want to live in the Land of the Beast in the first place. I finally got unstuck, but sure could have used that fur-lined jock strap again. I felt sorry for the people who had to work outside and battle the beast all day. Uff da.
My troubles were minor compared to my brother, Arden. The water pipes froze up in the barn and it took several days before they could get the pipes thawed out. That meant the heifers couldn't get any water and it had to be hauled in. I imagine a lot of farmers had the same problem.
He stopped over the weekend as I was clearing the driveway... for the hundredth time. The banks are so high the snow blower can't throw it over the top. No matter what direction I go, the wind seems to blow the snow back in my face and covers me. I must have looked like a plump snowman with all the snow gear I was wearing. Arden took one look at me, smiled, and reminded me of my story about loving the beauty of winter.
I didn't bother trying to wipe the frozen snow off my glasses. I think my mustache had icicles hanging from it too. My words froze in midair and Arden had to take them home and thaw them out to see what my response was. I don't think we better print it in a family paper.
Suffice it to say, the Beast is definitely knocking at the door and it's hard to fight it. I've decided to surrender and not worry about clearing the driveway any more this winter. With any luck, it should all be melted by May... or sometime in June.
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