Bring back the days of using a pencil and paper. Our only problem was breaking the lead in our pencil. If that happened, we sharpened it again and were back in business. Ah, the good old days.
Now I have fancy computers that do everything for me. They write, draw, put my books together, send and receive e-mail, surf the web in search of the latest information around the world, calculate, compute, and a thousand more things. They also lock up, won't open, and won't let me access any of my stuff. All my information is stored is stored inside my little laptop computer. All my stories, the e-mail addresses of the papers I send them to, and Across the Fence stories I'm in the process of writing. It's all now imprisoned in that blasted piece of cantankerous hardware. give me a pencil and paper.
It all began on Monday afternoon. I received a notice that two updates were available. I downloaded them. For those of you who still rely on pencil and paper to do your writing and not computers, this is a routine procedure.
After the downloads were completed, I got the message to restart my computer. This is also routine. I waited while it went through the restart process. The Apple icon came up and the little circle of bars started going around... also routine. Then they kept going around and around and around, instead of the computer screen opening up... not routine. I gave it five minutes and finally shut down the computer, not the routine way, but using a last, desperate, we've got trouble here, shut down process. I restarted it, thinking it was just a small glitch. Wrong! The little circles went round and round and round, and I think my mind started spinning too. Now we were into the "Uff da" mode. After several more failed attempts, we entered the "mild panic" mode, soon followed by "Oh shoot, we've got serious troubles here" mode.
I began to have visions of all my stuff being trapped, like a miner in a collapsed mineshaft, never to see the light of day again. Now we were entering "Major Uff da" mode. Why hadn't I backed up all my files every day like I'm sure all of you do? OK, I hear you. I'm not alone in this. "Major Uff da" mode could happen to you too. The majority of us are lax in backing up. Ah, the good old days when backing up meant backing up a tractor and wagon.
I began to fear that I had hardware problems and would lose all my software. Again I longed for the good old days when hardware meant a trip to Flugstad and Foss Hardware Store in Westby, and software was wearing a pair of bib overalls that had been broken in and no longer made that swishing sound when you walked, as stiff, new fabric rubbed together. Now those terms refer to some mysterious, internal stuff in my computer that I know nothing about.
I decided to let my computer sleep for the night. Hopefully it would awaken all refreshed when I tried rebooting it in the morning. No such luck. I wanted to put my boot up its hard drive at that point. I had entered the "Give me a simple pencil and piece of paper" mental state.
Tuesday evening is when I send my column to all the papers for the following week. My story was trapped in that mine shaft along with all the e-mail addresses I needed. I was now in "Double Trouble Uff da" mode.
Luckily, Dale, our MAC computer expert at work, was able to use a fire wire (another mysterious computer word) and gained access to my computer. He transferred files from my personal computer to another computer. At least I was then able to send my Across the Fence column using my work computer.
To make a long, stressful, uff da, story short, it was Friday before we were able to open the mineshaft and rescue the contents of my computer. In the process, I had to reinstall my operating system and all my programs, but at least I didn't lose any files. All the miners were rescued alive and well. There are still some minor repairs to be done. But, now I have everything backed up in case it crashes again.
I was glad to see last week come to an end. Even at work, it seemed that every time I turned around, something was going wrong or someone had a problem that needed attention. When my old buddy, Big Lee, called from sunny California over the weekend, we were in the middle of another snowstorm. He was basking in the sun in his lawn chair and drinking coffee. I could almost hear him grinning as I related all my computer "troubles" and the psychotic state of mind I found myself in, up here in the frozen tundra.
Computers will do that to your mind, when they cross over to the dark side. Pencils never had that affect on me. But, this is another week; my computer has risen from the dead and is back among the living. Life is good. Put the pencils and paper back in the drawer. I won't need them after all. My computer lives... at least for the moment.
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