Learning About Life and Death

Across the Fence #238

Children who grow up on a farm, learn about life and death at an early age. Life comes and goes quickly on the farm. It was a part of our everyday life.

My friend, John Cotter, who lives in Middleton, Wisconsin, comes to Vernon County to fish and hunt. Whenever he's in the area we get together for lunch and coffee at Borgen's Cafe and often come up with new topics for this column. During his last visit he brought up the idea that country kids learn the cycle of life a lot sooner than city kids. He said he remembered when pigs had their litter every spring. They would set up gates to try and give the newborn pigs some safety, but it was not always successful. The sows would often lie down on the newborns, killing them.

The same was true for other farm animals. We saw them being born, but often witnessed their deaths too. Calves, chickens, cats, and dogs, all became a circle of life to us.

We often watched as a calf was born and marveled at how new life began. Within a short time of emerging into her new surroundings, the calf would stand on wobbly legs and soon be sucking and enjoying the first meal of warm milk from her mother. Sometimes there would be problems with the birth and we'd watch as Dad pulled the calf from darkness into the light of day. I learned to help him with those difficult births when I was in high school.

Sometimes there were problems and a new calf that had just been born would die, or would become sick and die within a week or two. We learned that sometimes the circle of life is very short. It became a part of life on the farm.

We had dozens of cats on the farm. We would find and hold them shortly after they were born. Sometimes we even watched as they were born. Some of them became friendly and others always displayed a wild streak. They only came around when milking was done and milk was poured into an overturned can cover for them to drink. Farm cats learned to roam the fields searching for a meal. An unsuspecting mouse or a bird that had let their guard down, became their meal. The death of mice and birds also became a fact of life on the farm. We learned that one must die so another might eat and live.

Some animals became a part of our meals. Cows and pigs were butchered for meat, and chickens were often killed and became a meal for us. Today, people who consume meat, seldom do the butchering chores. The act of killing your own food has become alien to most people.

The fate of some farm cats also fell into our hands. The same cats that loved to roam the fields sometimes became a victim of the hay mower. They tried to hide as the tractor and mower approached and found themselves in the path of the sharp, deadly sickles. We had many cats that lost a leg or even worse. Some cats survived to prowl around on three legs. Others had to be destroyed because they were so badly injured. You hated to kill them, but it was the humane thing to do and it became a part of life on the farm.

Dogs were not immune to tragic death either. We had several dogs that were hit and killed by cars. Those family pets were the hardest deaths to accept. We had raised some of them since they were pups. When I was in early grade school, our dog, Tony, followed me toward Highway 14 when I walked to school one day. When I got home that evening, I found out he'd been struck by a car and killed. It was a hard death to take for a young boy. I also felt responsible because he had followed me. My Grandma Inga, rocked me in her lap that evening while I cried and mourned Tony's death. Like all farm dogs, we buried him and put a crude marker on his grave. Learning to say goodbye to good friends like that, was a part of learning to accept death, do our grieving, and then move on with life.

Another of our dogs was also struck and killed when I was in 8th grade. My mother was baking an Angel Food cake and was short on eggs. She had me walk over to Midtlien's, our neighbors, to borrow some. I had to cross Highway 14. Our dog followed me. I told him to wait. But as I was coming down their driveway, he got up and ran across the road to meet me... right into the path of a car and was killed. I wouldn't eat Angel Food cake for a long time after that.

Life and death is learned about, early and often, when you live on a farm. You watch new life come into the world, but death also becomes a part of life. They are not separate. Life and death are both part of the same circle. When country kids grow up watching life begin and end, it helps them understand how fragile and precious life really is.