The Wave

Across the Fence #244

Now that we live in the country again, the wave is very important. I’m not talking about the wave that you see at sporting events, where people suddenly stand up, throw their hands in the air, and then sit down again. Then the people next to them do the same thing and around the stadium it goes, resembling an undulating wave on an ocean.

I guess you could call that a wave, since it’s often used to get the attention of the TV cameras, but that’s not the type of wave I’m talking about. I mean the greeting you give someone when you meet them as you’re driving along a country road. This is something I never had to concern myself with in Madison. If I had waved at someone I met there, they’d have thought I was some kind of nutcase. In the country, it’s the accepted thing to do, even if they are strangers.

There are many different type of waves and they often reflect the personality of the person doing the waving. Being of good, conservative Norwegian upbringing and not wanting to show too much emotion, I tend toward the passive kind of waves.

Not everyone I meet is a close, personal friend. Matter of fact, most of the people I wave at are complete strangers. But, when you travel country roads, you better be prepared to wave at everyone, just in case it’s someone that knows you. If you don’t return the wave, they’ll probably think you’re stuck up and too good to return a friendly greeting. Next thing you know, everyone in the area will think you’re unfriendly and too big for your britches.

Whenever I go cruising the back roads, I’m always ready to “pop a finger” as we meet someone. Sometimes I pop two fingers, but not on the same hand. Plus, both hands must stay on the steering wheel at all times. I call it the “one-finger salute,” or “two-finger salute” if you’re really happy to see someone. The one-finger salute, or wave, is done with the index finger extended, not the other one-finger salute you were probably thinking about.

Around these parts, we call that the “Portland salute.” I’m just reporting the facts; I’m not going to interpret them for you.

I’ve got to give credit where credit is due for the idea behind this story. Karen Hankee suggested I write about the many different waves that people use.

After our Sons of Norway board meeting tonight, I remarked that I needed to get home and write my column for next week. I always send it off to the papers late Tuesday night. This is Tuesday night! They asked what I was writing about. I said that I didn’t know yet. The well was getting low on water and I needed to prime the pump. That’s when Karen suggested “waves.”

Regarding that Portland salute; they told me that a woman was driving down the road when she met a red pickup and thought it was someone she knew. She gave them the Portland salute and realized too late that it wasn’t who she thought it was. Meanwhile, the man driving the pickup said to his wife, “I don’t know who that woman was, but for some reason, I don’t think she likes me very much.” You’ll have to use your own imagination to visualize the Portland salute. I’m not about to demonstrate it for you. I got in enough trouble years ago when I taught it to my brother and he greeted my father with it when he came out to the tobacco field where we were hoeing. Dad was not impressed!

But lets move on to other waves. There’s the “full hand, five-finger wave.” You only use that wave when you know the person and want to make sure they see your greeting so they don’t think you’re avoiding them or stuck up.

Then there’s the “windshield wiper wave.” That’s where you wave your hand back and forth like you’re wiping the windshield. The happier you are to meet someone, the faster the wave. Kind of like windshield wipers going at top speed, whipping back and forth in a total downpour.

If you’re really happy to see someone, you can stick your whole arm out the window and execute the “extended arm wave.” Depending on how well you know the person, this can be a simple one-finger salute to a full-blown windshield wiper wave. It can also be used for the Portland salute, but be advised, use this with extreme caution.

Another wave that seems to have come into being recently is what I call the “parade princess wave.” That’s where all the girls wave in slow unison, like a bunch of robots, first with one hand, and then as if on cue, they all change hands and wave with the other one. I personally don’t like this wave and only use it if I’m trying to be sarcastic. I suspect if I used this wave on a country road, the recipient would think I had just given him the Portland salute. I think I’ll stick to the more traditional and manly waves.

Whatever wave or salute you use to greet people on country roads, isn’t as important as the simple gesture of greeting and acknowledging your fellow travelers as you pass each other on the busy road of life.