It's back to school time, that transitional period that signals the end of summer and the beginning of the fall season. It’s also a transition between elementary and middle school, middle school and high school, and high school and college. Baseball season is winding down and football season is hitting full stride, although all the sports seem to overlap and go on forever these days. The birds are starting to flock together for the trip south and the wildflowers are losing their beauty. Soon the trees will be turning, as they transition from green to a full palette of fall colors.
Those transitions from one chapter of our life to the next, especially where school is concerned, can be both exciting and scary. I attended a one-room school as most of you know, and that eliminated a few of the transitions that city kids and the present generation of students have to go through. We didn’t worry about going from one grade to the next, where we’d have a new teacher and many new students. All our grades were taught in that one room and we knew everyone in school. Of course, when there were only twenty students in all eight grades, it was much easier knowing everyone. The only new students were the first graders. If a new family moved to a farm in the school district, we might get some new students, but they generally came in the spring when farmers would move from one farm to another.
I was lucky. We moved to a new farm when I was around ten years old. It was less than a mile away and I didn’t have to change schools. It must have been tough for students who had to leave old friends behind and go to a new school. I think of Margaret, Janice, Howard, and Anita Lee, who moved to our school district in the spring. Margaret and Janice joined Donna Gilbertson and me in seventh grade. That must have been hard for them. To their credit, they quickly fit in and we’re still friends.
In country schools, one teacher taught all eight grades. If you were lucky, the teacher might stay for several years. Then when you advanced to the next grade, you didn’t worry about who the new teacher would be. On the flip side, if you didn’t like the teacher, you were in for another long year. Fortunately, we had some wonderful teachers at Smith School while I was there. I have great memories of those eight years.
High school is another story. That wasn’t the best time of my life. One of my classmates, Monte Nelson, and I were talking about our high school experiences recently. Monte said, “High school was the worse 12 years of my life!” I can relate to that. It didn’t help that I was a shy, farm boy, and then broke my leg in football when I was a freshman. That put a real limp in those four years, or 12 years as Monte said. That broken leg, the ripped muscles, and the ankle that was torn out of the socket, pretty much put an end to high school sports for me. My ankle still goes out more than I do!
Those transitions were nothing compared to heading off to the big city of Madison and the University of Wisconsin. Talk about feeling like a fish out of water. Despite all the transitions we go through, we manage to survive and move on to the next chapter of our life.
When we were in school we never realized the pain our parents went through as we entered each new chapter. I discovered all those feelings when our children, Erik and Amy, started each new chapter. Before we knew it, they were graduating from high school and heading off to college. That was a big transition for them and also for us. I wrote the following in 1993 after we moved our daughter, Amy, into her dorm room at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, and headed home to an empty nest.
When Did You Grow So Old?
“I stand in the door leading to the empty room. The boom box is silent now, no music fills the air. When did you grow so old? Wasn’t it only yesterday I carried you, just minutes old from delivery to the nursery, so small and helpless, every need dependent on us. Crawling, sitting up, standing on wobbly legs, first steps, first words, first tooth… so many firsts. Soon all the new things you learned became routine. Before we knew it, there was nursery school, then kindergarten. First grade, quickly became fifth. Middle school was a whole new adventure. Three quick years and the high school years began. Sweet sixteen and a license to drive. When did you grow so old? High school passed so quickly, and graduation was here. The road to a new adventure stretched out before you. And now you’ve begun the journey. That’s why I stand in the doorway leading to your empty room. You left for college today, and we went home without you. Things will never be the same. When did you grow so old?”
I think everyone can relate to those words. Each year at this time, the back to school transition opens new chapters in the lives of children, and for parents too.
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