This weekend thousands of Vietnam veterans and their families will be attending LZ Lambeau in Green Bay. It’s a welcome home celebration for Vietnam vets. I won’t be attending.
Following the weekend celebration, Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories will air on Wisconsin Public Television, May 24, 25, and 26 at 8:00 pm. Unfortunately, I’ll be at a business convention all three days and will miss the documentary.
I was interviewed for this program. After many calls over a six-month period from the producer, Mik Dirks, I finally relented and agreed to be interviewed when they were in La Crosse. I still have reservations about being part of it. I told him I didn’t want to be perceived as an old vet still sitting around telling war stories. On the other hand, I didn’t want the documentary to be a bunch of guys still wearing their jungle fatigues. The majority of us have moved on with our lives. We Vietnam vets have had an image problem in the eyes of the general public. I hope this documentary shows us in a better light than some of the media have portrayed us in the past. In my interview I told Mik I wanted to talk about our medical care of the Montagnards in the Central Highlands. No one ever hears about the good things we did.
When I attended the preview party of the documentary in La Crosse, I asked Mik if I had ended up on the cutting room floor. He said I didn’t. From previews I’ve seen of the program, it looks like a very honest and powerful documentary. I wasn’t in the preview segments, but a couple of my friends were.
I mentioned that I wasn’t going to attend the LZ Lambeau event. This is always a hard time of the year for me. 43 years ago I was on an operation with many of my old medic friends. We had all gone through basic training and medical training together, and had become close friends. We were operating in the border area near Ban Me Thout and the jungle highlands west of Pleiku, near the Cambodian border. We were part of Operation Francis Marion, aimed at stopping the North Vietnamese Army (NVA) from seizing the Ia Drang Valley. It’s ironic that the 1st Cav had fought a major battle there before our 4th Infantry Division arrived in Vietnam. That battle was written about in a best-selling book, “We Were Soldiers Once and Young,” and also made into a movie.
I got to spend several weeks living in total misery with my medic friends and their units as we hunted for the NVA that were infiltrating the area along the border. One of our platoons finally found them, or the NVA let themselves be found. It was a trap. That’s when the Nine Days In May Battles began (May 18-26, 1967). Many of my friends were killed or wounded in some of the bloodiest, hand-to-hand fighting of the war. We lost 79 killed and over 200 wounded. I’ve never been able to find a correct number. The NVA had 573 killed and 400-500 wounded. All those wasted lives, and very few people have ever heard about it. It was as if the world didn't know or care about what happened there.
I guess I have a lot of survivor guilt, as they call it. I think most of us who came back alive have it, but it really gets me down the middle part of May. This year the weight seemed to be heavier. I even get a bit depressed each year, but do a good job of covering it up.
I think a couple reasons its bothering me more this year is because of the Welcome Home celebration, and a guy I was with in Vietnam just got back in touch with me. Ray grew up near Readstown. He said he was finally ready to talk about things again after all this time. Ray didn't want to join Harlan Springborn, Larry Skolos, and me when we finally reunited 12 years ago. We were all drafted together from Vernon County and spent our two years of army life together. We never heard from him again until he called me a few weeks ago. I guess it takes some people a long time to confront the ghosts of their past. He and I spent a few really bad days together. He said he was afraid seeing the three of us, especially me, would have brought back too many bad memories. This time we had a great talk for over an hour and now the four of us plan on getting together this summer.
The four of us have been able to enjoy 43 years that many of our friends didn’t get a chance to. That’s been a gift that I don’t want to waste, for even a moment. For me, it wouldn’t feel right to take part in a welcome home celebration. I’ve been home for 43 years. That’s a long time. My friends, Dedman, Dodd, Goswick, Jackson, Lebitz, Wilkins, and others, never made it home. Other friends who survived the Nine Days In May and other battles, never found their way home emotionally or mentally.
Medics Mason, Nagl, Prince, Pickett, Reagan, Rhodes, Sherman, Sherpe, and Tomczak, all came home alive. That’s a good reason to celebrate our homecoming every day.
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