Guardians of Dark Places

Across the Fence #297

This time of year it’s almost impossible to walk in our woods. The vegetation is so thick it makes the woods a dark, wet, foreboding place. It brings back stories my Grandma Inga told us when we were young. Whenever she didn’t want us exploring or snooping around some place, she told us stories about the trolls and boogeymen who guard those places. I should mention, those places were usually dark and spooky.

Truth be told, I’ve never seen a troll or boogeyman, that I’m aware of, but my mind is still full of the images of what they look like and what they’d do to me if I ventured into a place I wasn’t supposed to go and one caught me.

I don’t think grandma ever saw a “real” troll or boogeyman either, but to hear her tell the stories, I was certain she had some close encounters with them. Those trolls were known to inhabit Norway, where they lived under bridges and large rocks. She told us how some of them hid in the luggage of immigrants and hitched a ride on the ships that brought them to America. After the families reached their destination, like the Norwegian community of Westby, the trolls snuck out of the luggage, under cover of darkness, and found new places to live in the woods and buildings of those communities. Of course, that included our farm.

I guess every culture needs a troll, boogeyman, or some type of devil to keep people in line. I know it kept us out of trouble most of the time.

One place that was off-limits to us kids was the upstairs of the house on the farm where I was born. I think some old furniture that belonged to the people who owned the farm was still stored up there. A dark stairwell, where the door was always shut, led to the upstairs. Grandma told Sandra and me that a boogeyman guarded those upstairs rooms. That was enough to keep us from venturing up the stairs and exploring the place. Years later, we found out that for many years, both of us had a recurring dream where we were being chased down a long, dark stairwell by a huge, dark creature. We never saw it’s face, but we knew it was the boogeyman, the guardian of dark places we shouldn’t explore.

This summer I’ve discovered a new guardian of places I’d like to explore. They might not be as scary and sinister as a troll or boogeyman, but they are just as effective… dreaded mosquitoes.

All the wet weather we’ve had this summer has created a paradise for those blood-sucking monsters. They attack in waves and have no mercy. You can flail your arms around, and slap yourself silly trying to swat them off, but all to no avail. You can’t get them all. The only thing you can do is beat a hasty retreat. Even dousing yourself in bug repellent doesn’t seem to bother them this year.

I’ve heard old timers say our problem is that we smell too good because we’re always taking baths or showers. We smell so sweet the mosquitoes can’t resist us. What a person needs to do is quit taking showers and limit them to about one a week, or every other week, just like we did in the days before we had indoor plumbing. The mosquitoes didn’t like us as good back in those days. Another thing you can do to keep them away, is wear the same sweaty clothes every day. About a month should do the trick. Mosquitoes and other pesky blood-sucking bugs don’t like that smell and will leave you alone. The problem is, it will also clear out a room real fast when you enter, and it’s bound to hinder your social life. Seems the mosquitoes aren’t the only ones offended by the smell.

So, if you plan to spend any time in the woods this summer, you need to decide if keeping the bugs and mosquitoes away is worth losing all your friends.

Another guardian of the woods that I’ve encountered lately isn’t a troll or boogeyman, but brambles that will tear at your clothing and skin, and clinging vines that will entwine you and hold you back. They remind me of the old Uncle Remus stories about Br’er Fox and Br’er Rabbit. When Br’er Rabbit gets caught, Br’er Fox tells him all the bad things he’s going to do to him. Br’er Rabbit keeps pleading with Br’er Fox that he can do anything he wants to him, but “Please don’t throw me in that yonder briar patch.” Of course, Br’er Fox finally throws him into the briar patch and Br’er Rabbit is free and safe because that briar patch, with all the sharp thorns, was his home and no one else can penetrate it.

Yes, the lush, green growth of summer can act like a giant briar patch when you want to go exploring. If the brambles and thorns don’t get you, the mosquitoes, gnats, deerflies, and other assorted blood-sucking monsters will send you packing. That is, unless you neglect showering for a couple weeks and wear the same clothes.

Just a word of warning, you might as well pitch a tent and live out in the woods, ‘cause nobody, not even trolls and boogeymen, will want you hanging out with them.

Last week I told you about Be Good To People. Kris told me that she would give Across the Fence readers a 20% discount on any BGTP merchandise purchased during August. Mention that you’re an ATF reader. Her website is: www.begoodtopeople.com