The Kingdom of Driftless Beauty

Across the Fence #318 (Christmas Extra)
The following story runs in the Westby Times in their Christmas issue.

Fairy Princess Sonja sat on top of Three Rock Chimney, the highest point of Sunshine Prairie in the Kingdom of Driftless Beauty, trying to determine what was wrong. It was almost Christmas, but there was no joy in the kingdom. There was no snow, the Christmas lights kept going out, and no one had heard a word from Santa Claus since last Christmas. Sonja knew there was evil in the world and bad things sometimes happened, but righting those wrongs was her job, and she loved it. She felt very fortunate to be the Fairy Princess in the Kingdom of Driftless Beauty.

Sonja pondered the words of Ole, the green-striped frog, who said that someone in the kingdom must be depressed or angry and causing all the problems. It was true that the Wicked Witch of the Southeast had cast a spell over the royal prince and princess and turned them into a Troll and one of the Billy Goats Gruff, but that happened years ago, long before the cow jumped over the moon, made the little boy laugh, and the dish run away with the spoon. Why should they still feel depressed or angry after all these years?

“By the way, I wonder what ever happened to that cow?” Sonja questioned out loud.

“What cow?” asked Ole, “Are you talking about the cow that Jack sold for the beans, that turned into the beanstalk, and where the terrible giant lived?”

“No, not that cow, the one that jumped over the moon.”

“Oh, that one,” said Ole, “I haven’t the froggiest idea, but I’ve wondered what happened to the dish that ran off with the spoon. Talk about your odd couple!”

“Enough of this talk,” said Sonja. “We’re getting off the subject. The problem is to find out who’s depressed and angry at this time of year. It’s causing some real problems. All the Christmas lights keep going out. We can’t have that happening now. This is supposed to be a happy, joyous time of year.”

So... aren’t you gonna’ find out who’s got a problem and get this whole light-dimming thing fixed?”

Just then a white dove appeared, landed on Sonja’s shoulder, and whispered in her ear.

“I have work to do,” said Sonja, as she climbed aboard Sun Dancer, her flying Unicorn, and with the white dove riding on her shoulder they were off.

They soon touched down in Mary’s garden, where Mary was sitting and looking quite forlorn.

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary,” said Sonja, “How does your garden grow?”

Mary looked up with tears in her eyes. “Not worth a darn, since the rain quit falling. My poor garden is drying up and everything is dying.”

“I’m sorry about that Mary, but I’m trying to fix the situation. I understand you may have an idea who’s causing the problems.”

“I was over at Prairie View Mall this morning, shopping for some low-moisture, flowering cactus plants for my garden, when I overheard the Butcher, the Baker, and the Candlestick Maker talking. It seems that Jack-Be-Nimble had tried to jump over a candlestick and didn’t clear the flame. They said he singed his you-know-what and vowed he’d get even with the Candlestick Maker. They said he was really angry and depressed. I think Jack’s your man.”

“Sounds like he may be the cause of all the trouble. I think I better visit Jack-Be-Nimble and see if we can get to the bottom of this.”

With that she was off in a cloud of dust. Normally she would have left in a cloud of daisies and rose petals, but due to the lack of rain and snow, the land was turning into a dust bowl of dying plants and flowers.

When Sonja arrived at Jack-Be-Nimble’s house, she found him lying on his couch still nursing his burns. He was depressed and angry, but not enough to cause the problems plaguing the Kingdom.

Sonja left Jack’s house and started down the street when she encountered a little girl sitting and crying by the side of Cherry Blossom Lane.

“Why the big tears, little girl,” asked Sonja.

“There’s not going to be a Christmas,” cried the little girl. After the rain quit falling this summer, everything started drying up. Now the Christmas trees are dying, the Christmas lights keep going out, it’s not going to snow this year, and Santa won’t be able to come. It must be the Grinch trying to steal Christmas again. Either that, or Scrooge has moved back into the Kingdom. There’s not going to be a Christmas, I just know it!”

“Now, now, little girl, there’s going to be a Christmas. I’m the Fairy Princess Sonja from Sunshine Prairie and I would never lie to you. Just because the leaders of the Kingdom have been known to lie, doesn’t mean that Sonja would lie to you. Now, put on a happy face and I’ll take a trip to the North Pole and see if I can get to the bottom of this problem. I’ll explain the situation to Santa and tell him all the little boys and girls are counting on him, and snow or no snow, he has to make the trip on Christmas Eve. Just keep that Christmas spirit in your heart and it will come.”

The little girl was smiling again as Sonja, the white dove, and Sun Dancer broke out their heavy coats and struck a course due North.

As they approached the North Pole they encountered increasing turbulence the closer they got. Sonja was almost thrown from the back of Sun Dancer as they made their final approach to the Reindeer landing strip. For being only a few days before Christmas, things seemed extremely quiet. There was not an elf in sight, no reindeer practicing takeoffs and landings, no stockpiles of presents, no nothing. As Sun Dancer glided to a stop on the runway, Sonja dismounted and looked around. Not a soul in sight. Something was very wrong here. She grabbed a bouquet of thorn-studded rose stems for protection and headed for the toyshop. Sun Dancer walked cautiously behind her and even the white dove seemed nervous.

She knocked on the door but there was no answer. It was unlocked, so she carefully opened the door and peered inside. The normally noisy and busy workshop was silent. Sonja moved cautiously through the huge workshop, past piles of unfinished toys, and headed for Santa’s desk. The huge rolltop desk, usually piled high with letters this time of year, now stood empty. Across the front was tacked a sign, “Gone Fishing,” signed: Ex-Santa Claus.

“What in the world is going on, Sonja said to the white dove, “It’s almost Christmas and Santa has gone fishing. We are in trouble.”

The white dove whispered in Sonja’s ear.

“Oh, why didn’t I think of that? Of course... we’ll find Mrs. Claus and ask her what’s going on.”

They left the Toy Shop and headed down the snow-covered walk, lined with candy canes, to the little cottage where Santa and Mrs. Claus lived. A ribbon of smoke curled lazily from the chimney.

Sonja grabbed the door-knocker shaped like a Christmas tree, and pounded it against the door several times. The door opened slightly and Mrs. Claus peeked out.

“Oh, thank goodness it’s you Sonja. I was afraid it was those people again.” She had a sad look in her eyes and paused to wipe a tear that was rolling down her rosy cheek. Haven’t you heard Sonja? Christmas has been canceled.”

“I don’t believe it,” said a shocked Fairy Princess Sonja. “Who canceled it and why?”
“Come in, come in,” said Mrs. Claus. She ushered Sonja to a cushioned rocking chair. “Can I get you a cup of hot cider? You’ve had a long trip.”

“I’d like that, but tell me what happened first.”

Mrs. Claus sat down and peered over the top of her granny glasses. “It all started about six months ago. These strangers came from a place called Mad Towne, beyond the Kingdom of Driftless Beauty. Said they were with the Down With Santa Claus Foundation and were canceling Christmas. They said it’s all a myth, and was time for Santa to stop this charade of making little boys and girls believe in something that didn’t exist. They said children needed to face reality and they were spreading the word that there was no Santa. They even outlawed Christmas programs in the schools. Claimed it was corrupting the minds of little children and making them live in a fantasy world. They brought their lawyer along to serve papers on poor Santa to cease and desist from further corruption of children’s beliefs or they’d throw him in jail. It’s over. Christmas has been canceled... forever.”

“Oh no,” Sonja said. “I can’t believe this is happening. All the little boys and girls are expecting Santa to arrive as usual in a few days. They’ll be heartbroken.”

“I’m sorry, but there was nothing we could do. They had a court order saying Christmas was canceled. Santa took it real hard. He had to lay off all the elves and send them home. I don’t know what they’ll do now. There’s not much of a job market for toy-making elves without Christmas. He also let the reindeer loose and they headed back to the wild. We’ve been worried sick about them because this has been the hunting season and they aren’t used to being out in the woods.

Santa was so depressed and angry about the whole affair, he put up a sign “Gone Fishing,” so people wouldn’t disturb him. Trouble is, he was too depressed and angry to go fishing. He’s been staying in the haymow of the reindeer barn. Just sits up there and worries about all the children who will be disappointed this year. He knows they’ll blame him. You’ve got to do something Sonja. I’m really worried about his welfare.”

“Now we know the source of all the problems back in the Kingdom,” said Sonja. It was Santa who was depressed and angry. The last person I would have thought of. But don’t worry Mrs. Claus, there will be a Christmas. But first I need to talk to Mr. Claus. We don’t have any time to waste.”

Sonja hurried off toward the reindeer barn with the white dove and Sun Dancer close behind. She didn’t bother to knock, but flung open the door and marched in.

“Santa, come down here. We need to talk.”

“Go away,” came a weak voice from the haymow. “I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Santa, you have to come down. There’s much work to do before Christmas and we have very little time left.”

“Sonja, haven’t you heard? Christmas is cancelled. It is no more. I have the “Stop Christmas” restraining order right here in my hand, personally delivered by a lawyer of the party that’s putting an end to Christmas.” Santa waved the paper in the air so Sonja could see it from where she stood.

Are you going to let a little piece of paper get in the way of you and all those little boys and girls? Do you know how many children are counting on your arrival and how disappointed they’re going to be if you don’t show up? Listen to me Santa. If you don’t show up, then you really are a myth, just like those people claim you are. But we know different, don’t we Santa? You’re very real in the hearts and minds of all those children. What will they think if you don’t show?”

Santa’s head peered over the edge of the haymow as he looked down at Sonja.

“How would you feel if they told everyone there was no such thing as a fairy princess? They say I’m just a myth. I don’t know what to do. Look at me Sonja, I’m as real as you are!”

“We know that Santa, and now it’s time to prove it to all the children who are counting on you being real. Come on down. There’s a lot of work to do before Christmas.”

“But what about the restraining order? It says I can’t deliver presents any more or pretend to be something I’m not.”

“Are you going to let a small minority of the kingdom ruin Christmas for everyone who does believe in you? The only person who can stop Christmas is you. As long as you have the Christmas spirit in your heart, it will never die.”

“You’re right Sonja. I can’t let all the children down. They’re depending on me, but how can we do it? I laid off all the elves and turned the reindeer loose.”

We’ll get everyone back. Leave it to the white dove, Sun Dancer, and me. Now get down here and back to your workshop. There’s work to be done.”

Before Santa could climb down the ladder, Sonja was out the door and on her way to Toymaker Coulee to inform the elves that Christmas wasn’t canceled after all and they all had their jobs back. The white dove flew off to the Enchanted Forest in search of the reindeer.

Before the sun had set behind the snow-covered hills of Wild Kitty Mountain, elves were streaming into the North Pole from every direction. They arrived on skis, snowshoes, by dog sled, and even by horse-drawn sleighs. Everyone was laughing and singing. It was a joyous day. Christmas wasn’t canceled after all.

Soon Santa’s Workshop was buzzing with activity. It was just like the old days, only better. As often happens when someone is in danger of losing something, it becomes even more appreciated.

As the sun of a new day arrived, there was a flurry of noise and activity outside the workshop. Santa ran to a window to look. With great joy in his voice and the twinkle back in his eyes, he exclaimed, “It’s the reindeer. They’re back. All of them, including Rudolph.”

Things were looking better all the time. They were way behind schedule, but they might just be able to pull it off. Santa was smiling again and his depression and anger were gone.

Back in the Kingdom of Driftless Beauty, it began to snow, all the lights on Christmas trees began to glow again, and this time they didn’t go out. Children everywhere ran to the windows and pressed their faces to the glass and looked out at the new falling snow. Smiles were seen across the Kingdom of Driftless Beauty and the happy, joyous spirit returned to the people. Christmas wasn’t canceled. No restraining order was strong enough to stop it from coming. Just as Fairy Princess Sonja had told the little girl, “As long as you have the Christmas spirit in your heart, it will come!”