It’s been a long time since I’ve visited the Coon Ridge Family Restaurant and Truck Stop. Things were jumping as usual the other day when I stopped in. It’s located near the edge of town at the intersection where two roads cross. Each road leads to no place in particular, unless of course you live along one of those lazy country roads.
The Morning Breakfast Gang was holding court at the only round table in the restaurant, as they do every morning. They keep trying to solve the problems of the world. Most folks round’ here think it’s rather pointless, since most can’t even solve the problems in their own back yards. I can’t report that they’ve ever solved a single one of the world problems they’ve debated, but like people everywhere, they certainly have all the answers, at least in their own minds. I’ve got to admit, I’ve taken part in those debates too and put my two cents worth in. Every town needs a family diner where the locals can congregate and debate the issues of the day.
The Wednesday Breakfast Gang in Madison, back when I still lived there. Several of them have moved on to the big round table in the Great Unknown. The rest of us have seen healthier days.
When Thoreau said the majority of men live lives of quiet desperation, he must have been thinking of the guys like me who hang out at the Coon Ridge Family Restaurant and Truck Stop.
However, the name is a bit misleading. It’s not really a truck stop unless you count the assortment of pickup trucks parked outside on any given day of the week. Tiny Olson thought it sounded like a good name when he opened the restaurant. He always heard people say that you should eat where the truckers eat, because they know where the food is good. So he added Truck Stop to the name, thinking it would attract more people. What attracts the crowds to the restaurant isn’t the name. It’s the only restaurant in town, so it isn’t like they have a choice!
In all the years the restaurant’s been open, no one’s ever asked Tiny where all the big rigs and truckers are. My guess is that no one really cares. They just want a place where they can swap lies and solve world problems over a fifty-cent bottomless cup of coffee. Yes, you heard me right, coffee is still only fifty cents at the Coon Ridge Family Restaurant and Truck Stop. That includes endless refills.
About a year ago, Tiny got sick and tired of all the boys drinking up his coffee every morning and he raised the price up to seventy-five cents a cup. That still included endless refills at no charge. Well, the gang got ticked at Tiny for trying to rip them off and they all boycotted the place. They started driving down to Coon Creek and hanging out at Joe and Dot’s Diner. The coffee wasn’t near as good and the drive took twenty minutes each way on a hilly, winding road. That easily ate up much more than twenty-five cents in gas, so they certainly weren’t saving any money. But it was the principle of the thing. A determined, ornery, cheap bunch of Norwegians trying to make a point is not a group you want to be on the wrong side of.
Word quickly spread around Coon Ridge that Tiny had raised his prices and that the Morning Breakfast Gang was boycotting the place. Loyalty to a hometown business doesn’t go very far when twenty-five cents is at stake and feathers have been ruffled.
In the past, finding a table or booth for breakfast at the Coon Ridge Family Restaurant and Truck Stop was like looking for hen’s teeth. And Heaven forbid if some outsider stopped in and sat at the wrong table. That upset the apple cart for the rest of the day, especially if the Morning Breakfast Gang didn’t get their round table. Their icy stares at the intruding parties could have sent icicle daggers through their hearts. But during the boycott, the tables and booths sat empty except for the outsiders stopping by for breakfast on their way through Coon Ridge in search of the Northwoods.
The boycott was driving poor Tiny out of business. After two months of everyone driving to Coon Creek to eat, Tiny waved the white dishtowel of surrender and lowered the price of coffee back to fifty cents. The war was over. He hand-printed a big sign with magic markers and hung it in his window for all to see, “Coffee–Only Fifty Cents!”
The next morning, the restaurant was overflowing again as all the regulars returned. They talked about holding out for a couple extra days just to put a little scare into Tiny and teach him a lesson or two, but with twenty-five cents involved, they didn’t see any sense in wasting more good money on bad coffee and extra gas. So the whole gang is back and holding court at the round table as usual each morning.
They still think they have all the answers to solve the problems of the world, if someone would only listen to them. But, nobody does. At least in their own minds they managed to solve a major local crisis – seventy-five cent coffee. And they won.
It looks like the taste of victory has gone to their heads. Now the boys are talking about doing something about the high price Tiny charges for a piece of pie during their mid-afternoon coffee get-togethers. They think a dollar and a quarter for a piece of pie, free coffee included, is way too much to pay.
Stay tuned. This could get interesting.
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