Speed Limits and the Uff Da Bahn

Across the Fence #389

Does anyone go the speed limit anymore? A lot of speeding goes on between Westby and Viroqua on the new four-lane highway they built last summer. Germany has the Autobahn, but here in Norskie country we have what I call the Uff Da Bahn. The speed limit is 55, but woe to the person who tries to adhere to the lawful speed. You’ll have someone riding your bumper if they can’t get around you. I think 70 miles per hour is closer to the average speed.

 I’ve discovered another interesting thing about the Uff Da Bahn. The D.O.T. had a little problem deciding the distance between Westby and Viroqua. According to the sign on the south side of Westby, it’s six miles to Viroqua. However if you’re going from Viroqua to Westby, it’s seven miles. I haven’t quite figured this out yet, but I’m working on it. I’ve always said that if I was going to be cast as one of the twelve disciples in a play, I’d have to be Doubting Thomas, because I’m always questioning things. So it’s just natural that I should be the one to question how far it really is between our communities. 

We also have the new MUT (Multi-Use Trail) alongside the new highway. It’s important that people walking, running, and biking that trail know how far they’ve gone. They’re probably looking at their watches now and thinking they’re really making good time, however according to the signs, it should take them longer to go from Viroqua to Westby. I’ll tell you the reason why they’re making such good time.

I decided to use the speedometer in our car and check the mileage. First I drove from the Westby sign to the Viroqua sign. It wasn’t six miles. Then I drove from the Viroqua sign to the Westby sign. Well, it wasn’t seven miles to Westby either. I thought maybe the D.O.T. knew something I didn’t, but this mile discrepancy has me puzzled. After all, these are official traffic signs and we’re always supposed to go by what the signs tell us. My road test showed that the distance is only four and a half miles! At least my distance in both directions was the same and not a mile off. Now I was faced with a three-way discrepancy. I was really getting confused. I hope the road construction company didn’t charge the seven-mile rate for only four and a half miles of new road!

I used to run six miles almost every day. During my better days I could run at an 8 minute per mile pace. That means I could run six miles in 48 minutes. So if I had run from Westby to Viroqua it would have taken me 48 minutes, but it would have taken me 56 minutes to run back to Westby. Remember that’s seven miles, not six. However, since it’s really four and a half miles, I could have run the MUT along the Uff Da Bahn, and cut my time down to 36 minutes. Where was the D.O.T. with their mileage measurements back when I was trying to run faster?

Now that we know it’s only four and a half miles, people can slow down and not be in such a hurry, since the trip between towns is not six or seven miles like they thoughts. That should eliminate the speeding problem.

In defense of the D.O.T., maybe they’re still using the mileage from 50 years ago, before the curves and hills were straightened out. After all, we are dealing with a government agency headquartered in Madison. Maybe they should take a road trip up here and do a few measurements. Let’s hope they don’t charge us for mileage from Madison based on the same formula they used to measure the Uff Da Bahn.

All you readers who don’t live in the area, need to take a road trip, so you can say you’ve traveled on the Uff Da Bahn. While you’re at it, you might want to check out the mileage and see for yourself.

You know, all this talk about speed limits reminds me of retirement. “Oh boy,” you say, ”he’s been spending too much time on the Uff Da Bahn.” Anyway, my questioning mind has been contemplating the similarities. The speed limit on Interstate highways is 65. However, many people are doing 5 miles over the limit. So we’re talking around 70 miles an hour. Some people even go 3 miles under the limit¬, 62 miles an hour. Many people take the 55 highway, so they have more time to look around and enjoy the scenery.

It’s just like retirement and Social Security. You can quit at 65 and enjoy yourself and the scenery, or keep going until you hit 70 or beyond. Of course there’s always that chance that you might get stopped.

 I guess it’s too late for me to go the 65 speed limit, or under it. By the time you read this, I’ll be cruising along at three miles over the 65 limit. That’s 68 for anyone that’s mathematically challenged. Hopefully I won’t get stopped for going too many miles over the speed limit. I’d like to coast for a while after I take my foot off the gas. Until then, it’s pedal to the metal. Uff Da Bahn, here I come.

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