The start of a new school year is both a beginning and an end. It’s the alpha and omega, the yin and yang, happiness and sadness, apprehension and anticipation.
We’ve all been there, either on the student side or the parent side. You know the multitude of feelings involved.
Things have changed a lot since I headed off to first grade at Smith School, thinking it was the end of the world. Smith was a one-room school with one teacher who taught all eight grades. I was six years old and had no concept of what school was. As far as I knew, my parents were sending me off to one of those concentration camps we’d heard about from World War II. My mother took a first day of school photo of me all decked out in my new bib overalls, with a large book bag over my shoulder, and carrying a lunch bucket. I have the most pitiful, sad look on my face. It was 1950 and they were sending me away, never to return to the safety of the farm.
I imagine seeing that forlorn look on my face, didn’t help my poor mother as my father hauled me down the road, most likely crying and screaming, to my first day of school. I must have felt a great sense of relief when I got to return home at the end of that first day.
In those days we didn’t have kindergarten, at least in country schools. First grade was the beginning of our education process. Now kids head off to day care and pre-school when they’re three or four months old. They know much more when they enter first grade than I knew by the time I started second or third grade. Our two-year-old grandson can already do apps and puzzles on an iPhone and iPad. I wonder if I could even tie my shoes by first grade? Our daughter reads books to Sean each evening before he goes to bed. He enjoys that and will probably be reading books to Amy by the time he enters first grade.
Back in 1950, I was learning to read with Dick and Jane. Remember those great stories? “Look, look. Oh, look. See Spot. Look Spot. Oh look. Look and see. See Spot run. Run, run, run. Oh, oh. Funny, funny Spot.” It wasn’t exactly great literature, but the colorful drawings of Dick, Jane, Sally, Spot, and Puff were great. I wish I had one of those old Dick and Jane readers now. I wonder what happened to all those books?
We can laugh about how simple they seem to us now, but for forty years, those Dick and Jane primers taught so many of us how to read. I suspect today’s children who’ve grown up with television and iPads, would think our Dick and Jane stories are simplistic and extremely boring. Times have changed way beyond anything we could have imagined in our wildest dreams when we were young.
One thing that doesn’t change is the emotion that’s felt as you send your child off to each new phase of their life: Leaving them at day care for the first time when you head back to work. Maybe first grade isn’t as big a change now as it once was, because kids have been in day care, pre-school, and kindergarten, but I bet there’s still some apprehension involved. The next big steps are entering middle school and high school. Those are tough transitions for many kids. Then comes the move that’s tough on most parents. I hear many people say how hard it was to leave their “baby” at college and drive home without them. That’s the moment in life when things will never be quite the same again. It’s when they flex their wings and leave the nest. You can only hope you’ve prepared them to fly on their own. It’s both a beginning and an end, and every parent feels an emptiness.
I wrote the following in 1993 after we moved our daughter, Amy, into her dorm room at UW-Whitewater and headed home to an empty nest. I used it several years ago, but think it bears repeating as children head off to college.
I stand in the door leading to the empty room. The boom box is silent now, no music fills the air. When did you grow so old? Wasn’t it only yesterday I carried you, just minutes old from delivery to the nursery, so small and helpless, every need dependent on us. Crawling, sitting up, standing on wobbly legs, first steps, first words, first tooth… so many firsts. Soon all the new things you learned became routine. Before we knew it, there was nursery school, then kindergarten. The first big move, first grade, quickly became fifth. Middle School, a whole new adventure. Three quick years and the high school years began. Sweet sixteen and a license to drive. When did you grow so old? High School passed so quickly, and graduation was here. The road to a new adventure stretched out before you. And now you’ve begun the journey. That’s why I stand in the doorway leading to your empty room. You left for college today, and we went home without you. Things will never be the same. When did you grow so old?
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