Thr News... Hot Off the Press

Across the Fence #343

Who says this isn’t Global Warming? I’d have a hard time convincing the people around here that it isn’t. I don’t usually write about the weather unless there’s nothing else to write about, but this week the hot weather has been the main topic of conversations.

How hot has it been this week as I write this? The temperature broke records in La Crosse the past couple days when it hit 100 degrees. Here in Westby, the Westby Coop Creamery hasn’t had to make cottage cheese this week; the milk was already curdled by the time it got to the creamery.

In Central City, Iowa, it was so hot that people found out, the hard way, that a seat belt buckle could also be used as a branding iron.

It was so hot in Black River Falls that people could dip a cup of water from the Black River, throw a tea bag in it, and drink it without even heating the water. I wonder if you could call that instant tea.

It's been so hot in Boscobel this week, the farmers have been feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

Down in Gays Mills, Editor Charley Pruesser, looked out his office window this afternoon and saw robins using potholders to pull worms out of the ground!

Meanwhile, up in Fairfax, Minnesota, I heard the snowmen from last winter finally melted! Just remember, we had a cold spring up until a few days ago. I think those last patches of frozen snow on north-facing slopes should have finally disappeared this week.

Even the dogs weren’t moving this past week up around Elmwood, Spring Valley, and Woodville. Lena and Ole saw trees pleading with the dogs to come and cool them off, but not a dog raised his head… or leg.

I heard a rumor it was so hot in La Farge and Viola this week, several people got severely sunburned just going from their car to their house.

There were even rumors that Vernon Memorial Hospital treated many people with burned tongues when they tried to drink from public drinking fountains (bubblers to some of you). Seems the cold water had turned into very hot water. I knew you could get your tongue stuck on a pump handle in the winter, but burning your tongue while drinking from a drinking fountain is another story.

Friends in Madison told me it was so hot at the State Capitol, the usual hot air that fills the place seemed cold compared to the outside temperature. Uff da, that’s hot!!

Here in Vernon County it was so hot that when Linda and I cruised the back roads, we found some road kill venison, it was charbroiled to perfection on the hot blacktop! And it was free. You can’t beat a deal like that.

People around here are calling it the dog days of summer. Trouble is, it’s not even summer yet. Uff da, what’s it going to be like once it gets really hot.

I know many of you probably find it hard to believe all the incidents I’ve just reported, but hey, I just report the news. Chances are by the time you read this, the temperature could be down in the 40’s or 50’s again. I’m hoping it doesn’t stay in the high 90’s or 100 too long.

I planted trees and shrubs over the weekend, before it turned so hot. Probably not the best idea. Now I’ve been watering the heck out of them in the evenings to keep them alive.

We need some trees around our house. We don’t have a big shade tree in the yard where I can sit on hot days like this. It takes a long time for a tree to grow big enough to provide some shade. I’ll probably be pushing up Geraniums before I get to enjoy the shade of the trees I just planted. I guess when we plant trees, we have to plant them with the thought that future generations will be able to enjoy the shade on hot days like this. I have no idea who planted the big Maple trees on our farm where I grew up. They were huge when we moved there. We had a lot of fun climbing in those trees and playing in their shade.

I helped my dad when he dug up a couple of Maple trees in our woods. We planted those small trees in our yard and they grew. Our children got to climb and play in them. They enjoyed swinging in the simple swing attached to a limb. Every child should swing in a “real” swing – a simple rope attached to a limb with a board seat with notches cut into the sides to keep it on the rope. Those two Maples we planted grew fast, and I got to enjoy lying in the cool grass in the shade and resting at noon before heading back to the hot fields. We also sat at the picnic table in the shade and enjoyed a morning and afternoon break for coffee.

Hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy a little shade from the Maples I just planted. If I don’t get to sit in the shade of those trees on a hot summer day, listening to their leaves rustle, at least I know others will enjoy them.